Change Comes In All Shapes and Sizes

I guess God didn't want me to post what I just wrote. I believe he tells me what to write, and now what not to write. I was describing my depression over moving to a smaller house and being unable to sell the old house, which has been on the market for five months. Then, when I was almost finished typing the post, my screen went blank and I lost all I had written. So here goes again. I'll omit all my sad details and go straight to the quote I wanted to share.

"In time you come to learn that something is always coming. No road ever runs straight.... Even if everything continues, it will change, and you have to be willing to adapt to those changes.... Change can be tough, even when it takes you where you want to go.... 

"As a result, fear of change is present in every aspect of our lives. We dread the pain that could wait for us over the horizon, and we do everything we can to avoid that potential discomfort. That is why we quit our addictions and our vices only when the consequences of indulging them hurt us or others more than the pain of quitting them." (The Fun Formula, by Joel Comm,   https://www.amazon.com/Fun-Formula-Risk-Taking-Serendipity-Revolutionize/dp/1400201942)

Leaving behind the lovely house where I lived for 35 years and raised two wonderful children has been hard on me. I needed to be more ready for such a giant change in my life. Lesson learned. Someday I will leave this house too -- either in a moving van or a pine box. I better be ready for the change.

 Spoken Like Experts at AA

This came from my friend Eddie at my AA homegroup meeting this week: "The goal isn't to get sober, it's to have a life that doesn't make you need a drink."

And Renee, at another AA meeting: "The first drink is the problem. If I lay down on train tracks, it's the engine that gets me, not the caboose."

And in conclusion, this wisdom comes from Joe: "Page 164 of the Big Book says, 'Our book is meant to be suggestive only.' That's like me suggesting you pull the ripcord on your parachute after you jumped out of the plane."

 'All Failures in Life Are Opportunities'

John Boel is a news anchor for WAVE-TV in Louisville. He has been open about his recovery from alcoholism and, like me, he wrote a book. It's On the News...In the News (https://www.amazon.com/News-Journalists-Story-Recovery-Self-Discovery/dp/1935497448) I knew John before his DUI arrests in my role as media relations manager for a chemical plant. He was a good reporter who I respected.

But today, on Facebook, John announced he will retire February 28. Here is part of his Facebook post about his past trouble:

"When I got to rehab in Nov 2010, I thought my life & career were over. Couple days after arriving, a counselor at Hazelden handed me the St Paul Pioneer Press because it had an article he wanted me to read. It happened to be about a guy I idolized in college named Don Shelby- a legendary anchor & I-Team leader at WCCO-TV. The guy I wanted to be like. The story was news to me. It detailed the plunge he suffered because of alcoholism. But he’d gone to treatment, turned around his life, and was happily retiring after a career fulfilled.

"They handed me that story to give me hope. But I sat there and wept because it all seemed so unreachable & impossible at that point in my crashed life.

"A wonderful thing happened after that. People encouraged me while at the same time delivering honest blows about my character defects- a long list. They told me I could get there too if I did what I was told and put it in the hands of a higher power. I got the same kind of encouragement, support & honesty from countless people after the plane landed back in Louisville and thereafter. One thing led to another. An offer from WAVE. Job promotions. Incredible coworkers. Paid off debt. Journalism achievements. Better family life. Successful kids. Growth as a person. And now - I’m happy to announce my own retirement.

"Career fulfilled, just like Don....

"So many wonderful people over the past 14 years helped put me back together after a great fall. All failures in life are opportunities.... At a moment like this, I think about the most surreal scene of my life. An unusually kind, cheerful van driver taking me to the airport from Hazelden in a snowstorm in December of 2010 at the end of rehab, talking, encouraging me the whole way. He unloaded my bag.. backlit by the airport lights in the pre-sunrise darkness.. snow pelting his jacket.

“'Have a great life,' he said, looking me right in the eyes, with a big warm smile on his face.

"How could you say that, I thought to myself, while shaking his hand goodbye.

"Hard to believe at the time. But it turns out.. I actually did."

 God Has Some Pretty Good Reasons

I didn't want to move to Louisville, Kentucky. But everything happens for a reason.

Ultimately, I did move to Louisville. For 16 years, I had the best job I ever had. My wife worked at the Louisville Zoo and overcame her shyness. Both daughters received scholarships and worked their way through the University of Louisville to earn advanced degrees. Both met their husbands in Louisville.

I never prayed to get the job in Louisville, uproot my young family, and move here from Kennewick, Washington. I  didn't have to. God had a plan for us. Likewise, God wanted me to recover from my alcohol addiction, then write a book and this blog to help someone else struggling with the same problems that used to pound me down. I didn't want to become an alcoholic. But it's true: Everything happens for a reason.

There's a Signpost Up Ahead; Your Next Stop: The Twilight Zone 

I remember this episode of The Twilight Zone. I wish I could meet someone like this character. Oh, wait. I  already have: It's the God of my understanding.

The story goes, an old street vendor enters a bar. No, this isn't the start of a joke. He has an uncanny ability to foresee what each costumer will need. Moments after telling a washed up major league pitcher he needs a ticket to Scranton, the player gets a phone call offering him a job there. The old man tells someone else he needs a pair of scissors. The man scoffs but takes the scissors. When his scarf is caught in an elevator door and the scissors save his life, he understands. He returns to the bar and tries to force the vendor to tell him the name of the horse that will win a race. The greedy man wins a bundle, but next time all the salesman will give him is a pair of shoes. I won't spoil the ending, but the thug gets what he deserves.

God kind of works like that old salesman. He knows just what we need, even when we don't know yet ourselves. Today I started reading a book, Everything Happens for a Reason. "Whatever reason you went through what you did, it was to help you get just what you've been needing in your life."

God has thrown me more curveballs than that pitcher going to Scranton ever threw. Some things that happened I learned the meaning of, like those scissors in the elevator. Others, I'm still waiting for.

I think I know why I drank: It was to numb me as I passed through a tough time in my life, and so that I could recover and write a book and this blog to help someone else struggling with alcoholism. Drinking led to many repercussions, but it was what I needed.

I'm sure I'll blog again about life's reasons as I read this book. I've thought and said out loud many times, "Everything happens for a reason."

Make Sobriety Your Best Friend With Benefits

This is from a sponsored post in Facebook that advocates drinking less, but not none. For us alcoholics, less inevitably becomes more and none becomes -- well, none. Here is an excerpt from the ad worth passing along:

"I promise if you cut back on your alcohol, you can experience the same powerful benefits that I have:
πŸ˜‰ Your relationships will improve
πŸ… You’ll gain confidence immediately
πŸ€— You’ll look you’re (sic) best
πŸš€ Your mental health will skyrocket
πŸ’ͺ Your family will love it
πŸ’€ Your sleep/recovery will feel crazy
πŸ’Š You’ll cut out brain fog
"Alcohol is a poison, and it literally hurts every part of your health and wellbeing. It might help with anxiety for a bit, but it’s actually responsible for causing MORE anxiety the next day."

I could put a checkmark next to each of these benefits. Furthermore, if I had never developed a drinking problem, I still would have had room to improve on everything on the list. Being an alcoholic isn't all bad. If and when we recover, our inner-us becomes a better-us.

 If God Created Heaven and Earth, Did He Create Evil Too?

I remember learning in middle school science or someplace that there is no such thing as cold. There is only heat. More on that in a moment.

But first, Mental Floss Presents Condensed Knowledge, in a chapter about religion, discusses “The Problem of Evil.” The authors present five propositions:

              1. God is omnipotent, or all-powerful.

            2. God is omniscient, or all-knowing.

            3. God is omnipresent, or everywhere.

            4. God is benevolent, or all-good.

            5. Evil exists.

“Logically, one of these statements must be false. Why? Because a god who has all the characteristics of propositions1-4 cannot allow evil to exist.” (https://lightsailed.com/catalog/book/mental-floss-presents-condensed-knowledge-a-deliciously-irreverent-guide-to-feeling-smart-again-editors-of-mental-floss/9780061747649/)

But if there is no evil, how do you explain murder, war, violence, North Korea? St. Augustine, I think, had the right idea. He rejected the fifth proposal. “Augustine knew that if evil exists, and if God is the creator, then God had to create evil, so he argues that evil is ‘the absence of good.’”

Now back to cold. Heat is energy that speeds up molecules. Cold is the absence of heat, or the slowing of molecules. Hence, there’s no such thing as cold; it is merely the absence of heat energy. So it makes sense to me that here is no such thing as evil. God didn’t create evil. Instead, evil is the absence of good.

Condensed Knowledge claims that Christians have trouble accepting St. Augustine’s view because it “sacrificed too much of the Christian worldview since the fight against evil is central to their beliefs.” So what? Why can’t we promote good instead of fighting evil? That brings up the movie and the concept, “Pay It Forward.” By promoting good, we are eliminating evil. By turning up the furnace, we are eliminating cold.

 Eight Months And Thirty-Nine Pounds Later...

This is excerpted from a Facebook sobriety site I follow. How has your life changed?

I gave up when my dad died of cancer when I was 17. Before that, I was in honor roll, ballet, soccer, played piano. After, I dropped out of school two months before graduating, got into an extremely abusive relationship, left home, became homeless, lost everything… I lost my motivation to keep trying. My mom thought I was dead.

(Now) 235 days clean, rekindled my relationships and trust with my family, got a root canal on my front tooth, turned myself in to the police station in Denver, Colorado after running from the law and high on meth for three years, beat a case I was facing 35 years on, won another case to get my license back when I was supposed to have it revoked permanently, got into sober living, graduated from my outpatient treatment, got an MRI for my head after three years of not knowing if I was going to be okay since I got hit in the back of the head with a machete by my abusive ex, got my dog his shots, went from 89 pounds to 128 pounds.... All of that happened in just under 8 months!! Today I cried happy tears for myself for the first time ever in my whole life. I’ve completely turned my life around, and it’s taken less time to make it better than it did to ruin it.

Whatever you’re going through, no matter how low… if you want to get sober and live better, you can do it!!!

 Two Stories That Will Drive You to Not Drink

Two stories caught my eye as I scrolled through the WDRB (Louisville) news website today.

"A southern Indiana man was arrested overnight following a crash that killed his passenger on Sunday. Wimpy L. Myers, 45, is being charged with murder, criminal mischief, and operating a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol.... According to the citation, Myers was driving a Dodge Challenger and was going fast in the northbound lanes, then for an unknown reason, lost control and crossed over into the opposite lanes and crashed into a utility pole and a tree. Myers' passenger was thrown from the vehicle and later died at University Hospital. Police arrested Myers at University Hospital. According to the arrest report, his blood alcohol level was .221, almost three times the legal limit."

And in other news:

"The man charged with killing a 17-year-old Louisville boy in a DUI crash in 2023 will spend nearly 20 years in prison. Ernesto 'Erick' Ocampo Gonzalez was sentenced to 18 years on Monday. He must serve 85% of that sentence and pay a $10,000 fine.... According to arrest documents, Gonzalez was speeding and driving under the influence April 22, 2023, on Shepherdsville Road when he crashed into the back of a Toyota that was stopped at a red light. That caused a chain-reaction crash, with the Toyota then hitting a Pontiac that crashed into the back of a Buick.

"Police said Gonzalez had a blood alcohol level more than four times the legal limit. Louisville Metro Police said Gonzalez didn't attempt to stop or slow down before he crashed into the Toyota. Three people were in the Toyota, including 17-year-old Mohammed Hussein, who was taken to UofL Hospital where he died from his injuries." (https://www.wdrb.com/news/)

Those are two tragedies that didn't need to happen. Several years ago, that could have been me. If it's you driving under the influence, it might be or my children or your children who are the victims. But for the grace of God....

 What If God Told You to Build an Ark? Or to Drink More?

As a teenager, I didn't like being told what to do. And as a teenager who attended a Presbyterian church every Sunday, I didn't like being told what to believe. I struggled with parts of the bible and what Sunday school teachers sometimes tried to sell me. 

Like, how did the authors of Genesis know God flooded the entire earth and killed all people and animals except for Noah and the pairs of animals on the ark? The writers weren't there or they would have drowned. And no one back then knew for thousands of years that North and South America and Australia and Antarctica even existed. Were those continents flooded? Did all the plants die underwater? Did God let the fish live, since they couldn't drown?

If it says so in scriptures, that means it has to be true, including a talking snake tempting Eve. Did Noah let every kind of snake onto the ark, and if so, what about the evil talking snakes?

I have heard from many that one of the attractions of AA and the Twelve Steps is that no one tells us what to believe. There is no right or wrong. It's all about the God as we understood him, in Steps Three and Eleven.

In yesterday's post I quoted from I Want What God Wants. The book is too biblical for my tastes, but the authors do make some good points. "Maybe like me, you have struggled with religion and it's left you feeling disappointed and let down. Maybe for you a relationship with God feels more like an exercise program than a friendship. Just quit! I'm serious, quit religion and tell God you want a relationship. Throw away your rulebooks and lists that were handed to you by well-intentioned people and instead invite God to search you, test you, critique you, and lead you."   (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29957590-i-want-what-god-wants)

A relationship with God is essential to conquer any kind of addiction. Build that relationship with God as you understand him.

Sharpen Your Pencils And Close Your Books 

I have heard some people disagree with my viewpoint in the book I had published last year. I wrote:

"God seems always to be giving us tests. Each exam we pass makes us a better person, but getting there can be a major struggle. That's the way it is when alcohol overwhelms a person's life. Overcoming such an addiction is one of God's toughest tests to pass. But by placing him in the center of our lives, faithfully attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, working through AA's Twelve Steps, and exploring our inner selves, it becomes possible to overcome alcoholism." (Corking the Bottle,   https://covenantbooks.com/books/?book=corking-the-bottle)

I stand by my analogy of God as teacher passing out pop quizzes to the class. Here's some more light shone by Bill and Jason Isaacs in I Want What God Wants (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29957590-i-want-what-god-wants):

"Each time I teach or talk about God's testing, I always hear from someone who isn't comfortable with the idea. They feel like God is being cruel or setting them up to fail, but just like every student who has gone through school, we know the tests are what prove we are ready to move on to something better. God's tests are always backed with purpose and good intention. Honestly, God already knows what our response will be to the challenges we face, but tests also show you and me where we still struggle to trust God. The purpose of his tests is never pain; it's always growth." (emphasis added)

Class dismissed.

Addiction? It's All In Your Head

 James made a point at today's AA Big Book study that I want to follow up on. "It's a thinking disease, not a drinking disease," he said. "You can relapse and never take a drink if your mind goes back to those dark places."

I did a little following-up in some of my books I've collected. I came across this gem: "A life that includes wholesome living, uplifting relationships, commitment to values outside of oneself, and spiritual growth supports long-term health and sobriety. Reorienting life around values that are non-drug centered is an essential part of recovery." (Staying Sober, by Terence T. Gorski and Merlene Miller)

 Godki Pewakunyu Hanaka (Nez Perce for God Be With You Till We Meet Again)

We don’t know who, how, or when, but we all have opportunities to influence the lives of others. Sometimes we make an effort to improve someone else’s life, but many times, we don’t know if some small act could make a huge difference for someone. And we might never know.

That’s the case with a high school teacher of mine. I had Mr. William Kness for journalism and creative writing my junior and senior years. I have tried to contact him so I can tell him what he meant to me, but I can’t find out if he is even alive. After all, that was more than 50 years ago.

Here is what I mean. He was reading a book about the mistreatment of Indians in the 19th Century and told our class about it. Living in Western Pennsylvania, I don’t think I even knew Indians were still around. He loaned me the book, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. (https://magazine.gwu.edu/legacy-bury-my-heart-wounded-knee) While I was reading it, the American Indian Movement occupied the village of Wounded Knee on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. I read up on the brutality of the FBI, the corruption in the Bureau of Indian Affairs, and the discrimination of Native Americans on their own lands deeded to them by international treaties for “as long as the sun shall shine.”

Meanwhile, an elderly couple in my church with connections to the Nez Perce Indians in Idaho told me the reservation’s minister sometimes took young volunteers to help teach kids in the summer. Because of Mr. Kness and Wounded Knee, I applied and spent the following summer in Idaho with the Nez Perce. It was and still is the best summer of my life. At the end of the summer, I was part of a caravan of Indians from the various Nez Perce churches who drove to a Christian camp meeting on the Lakota reservation in South Dakota. While there, I was able to drive a short distance to visit Wounded Knee, just one year after the AIM standoff with the military, which I had followed in the news.

I was in college then. When I got home from Idaho, I started dating a girl I had missed while away, married her, and moved to Idaho five years after that life-changing summer. I owed that wonderful summer, my move across the country to Boise, and, quite possibly, the girl I married all to Mr. Kness.

That teacher also told us about a journalism scholarship to Point Park College in Pittsburgh that paid full tuition, room, board, and books. I was able to meet with the head of the Journalism Department there. (He went to the same small college and was a member of the same fraternity as my dad and uncle.) He told me if I wanted the scholarship to write, write, write. So I got a job covering high school sports for our local paper, the Beaver County Times, I entered and won high school writing contests, and ultimately I won that state-wide college scholarship to Point Park. I owed it all to Mr. Kness, telling us about the scholarship in my junior year. Until then, I never even heard of Point Park College.

Two summers ago, my wife and I vacationed in South Dakota with our two grown daughters, both born in Idaho. We made a slight detour to stop at Wounded Knee. While there, I thanked God for bringing Bill Kness into my life.

That teacher was in Beaver Falls High School to teach English. He taught me a lot more than that. He taught me to understand what the country did and does to native people, he taught me to stand behind whoever the underdog is, he indirectly led me to the greatest summer of my life, he kind-of brought my wife and me together, he enabled me to attend college for free, he was responsible for me moving to Idaho and being able to camp in the mountains there, and he made possible two visits to Wounded Knee.

This is a long post, but I wanted to tell this story as an example of what you can mean to others without even being aware of the difference you are making. Be ready to listen. Be ready to share your passions in life. Be ready to go out of your way when someone needs you, even if they don’t know they need you.

God bless you, Mr. Kness. I hope somehow you have an idea of how you changed my life for the better.

 Then Why Do They Call Themselves Gin Blossoms?

I've been keeping myself busy with my books and with my tapes
And every day's much better since I've slowed my drinking pace
There's no swimming in the bottle
It's just someplace we all drown
I lost myself in sorrow, I've lost my confidence in doubt

     --Gin Blossoms, "Mrs. Rita" (https://www.songlyrics.com/gin-blossoms/mrs-rita-lyrics/)

I have some Gin Blossoms songs on my MP3, which I listen to in my car and when I exercise. I just listened carefully to the words of "Mrs. Rita." It's about a guy who fears he is losing the love of his life, and he is asking a fortune teller, "What's it say in my tarot? Read my palm and tell me why do lovers come and go?"

He finds a distraction reading books and listening to tapes. (If you are too young to know about tapes, think digital media.) Anything is better than drowning in a bottle. We know that's true, right? I, too, keep busy with books, writing this blog, and listening to my MP3. Be sure you find something you like to keep your mind away from using.

 Officer Hyde Becomes Dr. Jekyll

No editorial comment required here:

TEMPE, AZ — A Tempe police officer who recently received an award from Mothers Against Drunk Driving for work to prevent DUIs was arrested for allegedly driving under the influence earlier this week, according to court records.

A spokesperson for the Arizona Department of Public Safety confirmed to the ABC15 Investigators that Officer Zachary Hyde was arrested by troopers because they had probable cause that he was driving under the influence....

The details around the traffic stop are not clear but records show a trooper with the Arizona Department of Public Safety pulled him over after he was driving about 10 miles per hour in a posted 35-mile-per-hour speed zone.

A spokesperson for the Tempe Police Department confirmed to the ABC15 Investigators that the incident happened while Hyde was off-duty and he has been placed on administrative leave pending an investigation. Hyde has been with the department for two years....

The Tempe Police Department shared a post about Hyde’s work with its DUI squad just over a month ago as he was one of many law enforcement officers honored by Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD).

The post read, “Congratulations to Officer Zachary Hyde and Officer Gavin Young. Last night both received the Hero Award at the 35th annual Mothers Against Drunk Driving Law Enforcement recognition banquet. Your hard work and diligence to ensuring the safety of our streets was recognized tonight among Officers from the whole State of Arizona.” (https://www.abc15.com/news/local-news/investigations/tempe-officer-lauded-for-dui-work-arrested-for-dui)

Diet Drug Side Effects Are Helping With Addictions

If you're like me and struggle with self-esteem because you feel sorry you damaged your life and others with your addiction, forget about it. There's nothing wrong with your character, your morals, or your willpower. It's chemical changes in the brain that led to your cravings.

A neurologist is having some success treating cravings and addiction with ultrasound, as I blogged here August 5. Another new hope that seems to be helping people with nicotine addiction comes as a side effect of diet medications. I saw this in a news story:

"Some diabetes and weight loss drugs, such as Ozempic and Wegovy, may help reduce nicotine cravings. These drugs contain semaglutide, a GLP-1 agonist that can reduce appetite centers in the brain. Animal studies suggest that GLP-1 agonists may also affect the brain to reduce addiction to nicotine, alcohol, and opioids. Some patients who take these drugs have reported changes in their nicotine cravings, as well as cravings for other substances and compulsive behaviors. However, more research in humans is needed to confirm that these drugs can curb addiction....

 Say what???

I take notes at AA meetings. I wrote down some quotes; don't know if they are original, but they bring a smile to my face nonetheless.

"It was mind over matter, and if I didn't mind, it didn't matter." --Kim

"When I first came to AA, I thought it said 'through prayer and medication.' That's how messed up I was." --LeeAnn

"Alcohol isn't the answer, but it makes you forget the question for a while." --Chris

Faith: "Is there a procrastinators anonymous meeting?"  Chris: "I don't know, but if you find one let me know and I will be there tomorrow."

Let This Be a Sign to You 

I like Eddie. I wrote about him in my book, Corking the Bottle. Today in my AA home group meeting he made a couple points worth sharing with you.

He pointed out that on the wall of EZ Duzit where we meet are several signs. He called the sayings on them clichΓ©s, and I guess they have become that:

Live and let live

Easy does it

But for the grace of God

Think think think

First things first

He said to take the first word of each sign: Live Easy But Think First. A coincidence or intentional? Leave it to Eddie to notice. He also explained that when he sees someone he hasn't seen for a long time he reintroduces himself because he's not the same person he used to be.

Me too. I identify with that. I believe I'm a better person than I was before drinking became a problem for me. How about you? Need to reintroduce yourself? Either way, be sure to live easy but think first.

 A New Way To Treat Addiction, As Long As You're a Brain Surgeon

Addiction to drugs and alcohol isn't about weakness or immorality. We know that, right? Instead, it's caused by changes to the brain that create cravings that are difficult and eventually impossible to control. A neurosurgeon on Morgantown, West Virginia, is achieving success in ending dangerous cravings by treating the brain with ultrasound. A feature on 60 Minutes yesterday explained how it works.

First, Dr. Ali Rezai clarified what craving and addiction really are. "We've been able to map out through neuroscience imaging that there is a specific part of the brain that is electrically and chemically malfunctioning that is associated with addiction.... It's a brain disease. It's an electrical and chemical abnormality of the brain that occurs over time with recurrent use of drugs. And this can be any substance. It can be alcohol, it can be opioids, amphetamines, cocaine. And they all are involving the same part of the brain."

I think you'll find it worthwhile to see the entire segment on 60 minutes.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BGtVJ3lBdE The first part of the story deals with treating Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease. That's worth watching, but to zero in on the neurological treatment of addiction, fast-forward to 13:20 of the story.


Alcohol Made Me the Rubberband Man

I drank because I thought good would come from it: an end, at least temporarily, to my depression. It worked. Drinking came with benefits, but of course, there was a steep price to pay for the good feeling.

With euphoria came blackouts, injuries, car wrecks, arrests, shakes, upset stomach... You know the morning-afters as well as I do. Every time I drank I thought I could stop before the benefits turned into bad stuff. It seldom worked that way. If two drinks could make me feel this good, four will make me feel twice as good.

I highlighted lots of texts when I read The Pursuit of Happiness by David G. Myers. For example:

"Even in the short run, emotions seem attached to elastic bands that snap us back from highs or lows. For many pleasures we pay a price, and for much suffering we receive a reward. For the pleasure or euphoria of  drug high, we pay the price of craving and increased depression when the drug wears off. For suffering through hard exercise, we afterward enjoy the dividend of a pleasing glow." (https://davidmyers.org/books/the-pursuit-of-happiness)

A footnote: "Pleasing glow? Dr. Myers apparently never ran a marathon.

It's Now Or Never -- Or Some Other Day

This was posted in an alcoholics Facebook group by someone named Abi:

“If you're actively over consuming too much alcohol everyday, but want to stop, is it helpful to set a date? I keep telling myself I'm done, then by 6pm I'm drinking again. I have a hard time calling myself an alcoholic.... I've only been "over consuming " for 11 months…. But for now I just have this question.

Okay, so what’s your answer? Ever set a date for quitting? I think the only date I ever set was “today,” but that didn’t work out so well. Would it work to pick a future date and say that will be the last I drink?

 Serenity now!

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

This is what's come to be known as the AA Serenity Prayer. According to Wikipedia, a version of the prayer was originally composed by Protestant theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the early 1930s. Initially popularized by one of his colleagues, the prayer began to spread widely. In June 1941, the prayer was published in an obituary in the New York Herald Tribune, and from there became known by the first AA group. The organization embraced it and spread it widely. We say it before every AA meeting I've ever been too, I think.

The Serenity Prayer was one of the main topics at my noon homegroup meeting yesterday, as it was the focus of the AA daily reflection. I shared that the prayer had become like a theme in my life. That's one of the benefits of being a recovering alcoholic, which I often thank God that I am.

There was a time in my professional career when I thought I knew all the answers. If anyone suggested an approach different from the one I believed was the only way to go, I argued and sometimes put others down. What's the matter with him? Didn't I make myself clear? A plus B equals C, not D. Anyone could see that.

Too bad I didn't embrace the Serenity Prayer years earlier. I couldn't change other people and I lacked the serenity of embracing that reality. I could only control my own thoughts and actions, but I didn't know the difference between what I could change and what I could not.

Ever watch Seinfeld? Serenity now!!! Check out this clip:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV26jV9danI

So, Have You Corked Your Bottle Yet?

 When I got sober, I started writing a blog to help myself stay that way. Eventually, I attracted a lot of readers and so, in an effort to r...

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