Everything Happens Beneficially, Officially

I wrote fondly before of the book I recently finished, Everything Happens for a a Reason, by Mira Kirshenbaum. And I just finished The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure, by Chris Prentiss, who offers a similar perspective on the everything-for-a-reason theme.

First, let me explain why that theme is especially important for me now. Last March, we left our home of 35 years and moved a few miles away, still in Louisville, to a smaller, lower-priced house. The kids are long gone and we both have retired, so a smaller house would mean less upkeep and less expense. The difference in the price between our old home and our new one was to be put away for traveling around the country with our camper. But here we are, seven months later, and our big former home is still on the market. We keep lowering the price and paying the mortgage on the new house (at 7% interest).

Why have our plans gone pffft? I dunno. It's frustrating and demoralizing. Is there a reason for this? God? Karma? I tell myself there is a reason why we are watching our nest egg fall from the tree. Some days, I have trouble convincing myself.

Nevertheless, Prentiss writes in his aforementioned book, "If you believe that God or a Supreme Being of any other name is the cause of everything, and if you believe in the popular conception of a Supreme Being that is all-knowing and all-powerful, it follows that whatever comes from that Supreme Being, such as the Universe itself, has to be perfect as well....

"(W)hatever happens is the best possible event that can happen. If one thing that could happen that was truly bad -- one thing that was imperfect -- so could three, four, five, and more imperfect, bad events happen, which could possibly lead to destruction. But that doesn't happen. The Universe continues to be perfect at every moment....

"Even if an incident hurt me or took something from me, it would always work to my benefit since the Universe will not let anything bad happen to itself, and I am a part of 'itself'."

That explains why my drinking problem, in the long run, was to my benefit. And watching my savings slip away like sand in an hourglass is to my benefit. Somehow. Someday. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

 Too Much of a Good Thing Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

Icarus and his father, Daedalus, escaped  imprisonment using wings Daedalus constructed from bird feathers held together with beeswax. Before escaping, Daedalus warned Icarus not to fly too low or the water would soak the feathers, and not to fly too high or the heat would melt the wax. Icarus ignored his father not to fly too close to the sun, causing the beeswax in his wings to melt. Icarus fell from the sky, plunged into the sea, and drowned.

Like Icarus, I flew too high. As I told in my book, Corking the Bottle (https://covenantbooks.com/books/?book=corking-the-bottle):

"I had a wonderful childhood raised by teetotalling parents who loved each other and taught me and my three kid sisters to love.... We didn’t have much, but we had all we needed. I was a straight-A student.... I won awards. I landed a part-time sports writing job at our local newspaper, The Beaver County Times. This led to a full-paid scholarship based on writing ability, so college was totally free. I graduated from Point Park College in Pittsburgh a year early because of college level tests I passed, got a job as news bureau manager in my mother’s hometown of Grove City where I still had lots of relatives, and jumped into my newspaper job the day after my last final exam.

"I married my childhood sweetheart at the same time I started a public relations job, where my salary doubled overnight from my journalism job....  We had two splendid daughters (who are still splendid as adults) and enjoyed a close family life, often camping and hiking in the mountains.... I could go on, but I think that’s enough to show I had a Midas touch. If something didn’t work out for me, something better came along."

So can one have too much of a good thing? Yep.

"People who believe they are winners get lazy, self-indulgent, arrogant. They're not good people, not as good as they could be. So when something bad happens, its meaning can be easy to read. They needed a lesson in how important it is to be a good person, with a particular focus on humility." (Everything Happens for a Reason,   (https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/385817-everything-happens-for-a-reason-finding-the-true-meaning-of-the-events)

That was me, all right. So when I l got laid off and couldn't find another full-time job, even in the fast-food business, I turned to drinking. My beeswax melted and I crashed into the sea. Too much of a good thing can be destructive. Don't fly too close to the sun.

As the book says, everything happens for a reason. Getting sober, I learned humility and how to be a better person. Now I fly comfortably under the sun and above the sea.

 Negative Past, Positive Present: Connect the Dots

We used to send cassette tapes back and forth to family before the birth of cell phones and free long-distance phone calls. I am converting those tapes to digital on my laptop so that our voices from the past can last forever. Cassette tapes deteriorate over time. I'm hearing myself gripe about things that don't matter anymore and that really didn't matter then, either.

That shows me what I used to be like before alcohol took over my life. I think I'm a better person now than I was then as a pre-alcoholic, sober man. Even turning alcoholic can have a purpose in our lives. That's why I'm reading Everything Happens for a Reason, by Mira Kirshenbaum. (https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/385817-everything-happens-for-a-reason-finding-the-true-meaning-of-the-events)

"All you need to do is look at what you've got in your life right now that means the most to you. Connect the dots. There's some really tough event that happened a while back.... You know you were needing to become stronger in some way.... There's this wonderful thing in your life right now, even if it's just a possibility. Okay, then. Bad event...becoming stronger...wonderful life right now. Just connect the dots.

"The bad event gave you the strength you need in your foundation to make possible what's wonderful in your life right now."

Alcoholism was an awful milestone in my life. But "everything happens for a reason." Thank you, God, for the strength to turn my life around.

There's a Signpost Up Ahead; Your Next Stop: The Twilight Zone 

I remember this episode of The Twilight Zone. I wish I could meet someone like this character. Oh, wait. I  already have: It's the God of my understanding.

The story goes, an old street vendor enters a bar. No, this isn't the start of a joke. He has an uncanny ability to foresee what each costumer will need. Moments after telling a washed up major league pitcher he needs a ticket to Scranton, the player gets a phone call offering him a job there. The old man tells someone else he needs a pair of scissors. The man scoffs but takes the scissors. When his scarf is caught in an elevator door and the scissors save his life, he understands. He returns to the bar and tries to force the vendor to tell him the name of the horse that will win a race. The greedy man wins a bundle, but next time all the salesman will give him is a pair of shoes. I won't spoil the ending, but the thug gets what he deserves.

God kind of works like that old salesman. He knows just what we need, even when we don't know yet ourselves. Today I started reading a book, Everything Happens for a Reason. "Whatever reason you went through what you did, it was to help you get just what you've been needing in your life."

God has thrown me more curveballs than that pitcher going to Scranton ever threw. Some things that happened I learned the meaning of, like those scissors in the elevator. Others, I'm still waiting for.

I think I know why I drank: It was to numb me as I passed through a tough time in my life, and so that I could recover and write a book and this blog to help someone else struggling with alcoholism. Drinking led to many repercussions, but it was what I needed.

I'm sure I'll blog again about life's reasons as I read this book. I've thought and said out loud many times, "Everything happens for a reason."