Confused, Lonely, Hurting People Could Use a Hug

In yesterday's post, I wrote about positive interactions with people that make AA such an important part of alcoholics' recovery. Today I am finishing Enjoying God, by S. J. Hill (https://www.sjhillonline.com/) and came across a passage worth passing along to y'all. The book is preachy and heavily Biblical (for my taste, but maybe not yours). But in the last chapter, Hill provides a god-inspired reason why going through our alcoholism can be turned into a good thing. He isn't talking about addiction or AA, but he could be, Read it from the perspective of a person in recovery.

"One of the main reasons we experience the dark night of the soul is so we can relate to others in need.... When you're dealing with confused, lonely, hurting people, you can't touch their hearts with information alone. But when you get real with them and share your own pain, frustration, and feelings of failure, your honesty will motivate them to open up their hearts as well. Out of your own brokenness, you'll be able to impart life to them, because you're sharing a part of yourself and not just something you read in a book. You'll be able to leave them with hope, because the Father walked you through your dark night and took you deeper into His heart than you had ever been before.

"Sometimes all people need is a listening ear and a compassionate response. They need your friendship, a hug, an affirmation, a blessing, or a prayer. As you watch friends and family members pass through their dark night, you'll probably see them respond in some rather immature ways. That's OK. Give them grace. After all, how well did you handle your situation?"

All of which should bring to mind AA's Step Twelve: "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

 Just Say Yes to God

There was a time for me when to stop ruining your life with alcohol seemed easy: Just don't do it. Until I was part of the disease, I didn't understand that the brains of alcoholics are different. Just saying no didn't work -- not without a higher power.

"Years ago, the First Lady of the United States challenged the youth of America to 'Just Say No' to drugs as she warned them of the dangers of drug use. When I first heard the expression, I thought, 'Does she really believe that this is all it's going to take to solve our drug problem?' However, in thinking about it further, I realized that this is the same kind of strategy the Church has used for years to try to keep people from sinning. We've told them to 'Just Say No' to illicit sex or alcohol or some other vice. But just saying no alone doesn't work. There must be something more appealing to which a person can say yes. A person must experience something that will offer him a greater pleasure than the allurements of sin....

'Drugs, alcohol, and other worldly pleasures are just demonic counterfeits for what people could experience in God's presence.... Ultimately, the only thing that will liberate the human heart from the slavery of sin is the supreme satisfaction found in God." (Enjoying God by S. J. Hill, https://www.sjhillonline.com/)

I take exception to the author referring to drinking as a sin and demonic. But I do agree that devotion to God is a necessary alternative to drinking. The need for God in our lives is made clear in AA's Twelve Steps:

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

 My Dad's Nod of Approval

I was close to my dad. His love and approval meant everything to me. He attended my baseball games when I was very young, went to my cross-country meets when I was in high school (even though I stunk as a runner), and he read the sports articles I wrote for the newspaper while I was in school.

He died of a heart attack suddenly at age 49. I took Mom to the hospital following the ambulance, but he was gone. When we returned home, my dad's fellow teacher and friend was already at the house. She burst into tears and said words I will never forget: "Your dad was so proud of you!

This story in Enjoying God by S. J. Hill (https://www.sjhillonline.com/) reminded me of that terrible day 45 years ago:

"Several centuries ago a famous European pianist performed a concert before five thousand people in one of the continent's splendid music halls. He played one of his most popular pieces, and when he had finished the audience gave him a thunderous standing ovation. Afterwards, he was asked, 'What did it feel like to receive such applause? Was it the greatest experience you ever had?' The pianist replied, 'I liked the applause, but it wasn't the most important thing to me. After the audience had sat down I noticed my teacher of thirty years sitting in the top corner of the balcony. He looked at me and gave me a nod of approval. That one nod from my master brought me more pleasure than the standing ovation of thousands.'"

One attaboy from my dad was better than any award I ever received. He was my "teacher in the balcony." Who is yours? Is there someone whose approval means the world to you?